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I had a moment of clarity yesterday, that will define my life moving forward. I realized that I am not living the life I want to live and something has to change.

We all have journeys and some of us are fortunate enough to have built a life that allows us to do a u-turn if need be, or change it up. I can't promise that I have any answers but what I do know is that I want to live in a kinder world, full of positivity and great energy, and sometimes life just doesn't afford me that luxury.

It is impossible for life to always be full of roses. I would be delusional if I thought that to be the case. However, life can be more magical and it can bring you more smiles than frowns.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a person whose glass is half empty. Not at all. But something has hit me between the eyes this weekend and I am absolutely committed to change in a very big way.

I don't want to go to work every day. That's not what life is about. I don't want to be hopping on a plane every week - that too isn't healthy or good in any way.

Running from country to country is just that - running and anyone who disguises it as work is not only lying to themselves but people around them.

A career is something that provides an element of fulfilness but it is absolutely not what defines you. There are so many other aspects of who you are, and if you don't know them, then it is time to find them out.

I cannot explain my clarity in a 500 word blog, but I can give you an insight into why life is not what it seems. I am not the image you see on Facebook or Instagram. I am not even the person who writes this blog, half the time. Instead, I am a highly complex, way too smart for my own good, very emotional, creative and innovative person who wants to explore what is actually possible. What that means, who knows. I have no idea. I do know however that life is short and it can be taken from you in a second and that is incredibly scary and when you see it happen to someone before your own eyes it changes you. If it doesn't change you, you need changing.

I imagined my life to be different. I care little for the riches life has afforded me or what I have built as a business. I care more about people than you would ever imagine and I feel for those who are doing it tough. Last week I was absorbed in this strange set of moments where I wanted to walk away and help those who feel helpless right now due to the damage that Cyclone Debbie did to their homes, their families and their soul. You may think that everyone can rebuild, but most of the people that lost their homes probably are not insured and if they are, the insurance companies will try their best to ensure that they don't get the money they deserve.

How can you give hope to people that are losing their jobs, their homes and their purpose because they are in a dark hour that is going to last much longer than the media will ever let on.

I feel that the media unfairly took people who were doing it tough and may not be the image of city folks and put them out there for the world to see. Was that kind? No. Was it the right thing to do? Absolutely not. Sit in their shoes for two minutes and see how it feels.

Purpose is important. I thought I had the right sense of purpose when I started The World Incubator, only to find that there were people out there that are so negative, and their natures are so caught up in pushing everyone down, that I too was affected. In effect, I was just giving money, time, support and the time of my friends to people who wanted to give entrepreneurship a go. I was completely and utterly caught unaware when I saw females in small town positions trying to make out that a free business incubator wasn't good for the town. Instead, their unemployment continues to decline and the housing prices keep going down. The town stays in drought and there is no way out and no-one making a difference. The government is giving grants to those who know how to play the grant game, but the outcomes are not making a difference and that is terrifying.

More so, is that I realize that I can't make the difference I want, because I wasn't born that strong. I live my life in my own cocoon like many other introverts and I cannot see the benefit in having me out there pushing for something when there is just a small little small minded, jealous and incredibly loud group of women that don't want someone to surpass their station in life. But for them, it's too late. There are millions of women that have done so, long before me, and one day I hope they push their own daughters up and encourage them to be the best version of themselves.

My life has to change and it's not because I was given some terrible cards. It is simply because it is time to look at me and what I want. That may mean moving countries again, and uprooting everything that I know to be normal. It also possibly means giving up a career and passing the baton on to people who are deserving and capable.

We only live one life and I have to decide how I want to live that life. Money means nothing. It's what's inside you that counts. The kindness you show. The giving to the strangers on the street with no expectation of even a thank you. It is these small things that mean more than climbing the business ladder, or standing on a stage.

My shoes keep changing every single day, and all day long for that matter. I have so many shoes, that even I don't know what to do with them. Being busy isn't a badge of honour - it's simply something that we get ridiculously caught up in and forget that it is not living. It is not how we were meant to go through life. 

We are put on this planet, not to make so much money we don't know what to do with it. We were put on this planet to make our mark, and that means help others and create things that make living better and more enjoyable. 

There is enough money to go around, and it disgusts me to read about people that are so wealthy, yet want to big note themselves for giving away less than 1 percent of what they are worth. That to me is disgusting in every way. If you are truly charitable, stick with what you need and give the rest away to helping the world become a better place.
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Mellissah Smith

Mellissah Smith is a marketing expert with more than 20 years experience. Having founded and built two successful marketing companies internationally, she is well recognized as a industry thought leader and innovator. Mellissah started her career working with technology and professional services firms, primarily in marketing, public relations and investor relations, positioning a number of successful companies to list on the various Stock Exchanges around the world. She is a writer, technology developer and entrepreneur who shares her thoughts and experiences through blogs and written articles published in various media outlets. Brag sheet: #2 marketer to follow on Twitter (2003), Top 150 Marketers to Follow (2015), Top 10 innovative marketers (2014), 60K+ followers on Twitter with 97% authentic.

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